Friday, November 18

Pee my pants

A bunch of us went to the Big Freeze, which is the ice hockey version of the longstanding rivalry, Cal vs. Stanford. I'm happy to say that Berkeley kicked some major tree bootay: 13 to a very sad, lonely 1 singular point. Go bears!

When Lee and I got back to my Prius, we turned up the heat all the way to "MAX HOT." (It actually says that on the climate control screen, and it always cracks us up.)

Lee: Your Prius seems to heat up faster than any other car.
me: It almost makes me not miss my the butt warmers in my other car.
Lee: I was just talking to someone about heated seats. Not everyone likes them, you know.
me: I think it's because it kinda makes you feel like you peed your pants.

Lee then laughed and asked if I was going to pee my pants right then and there. I replied with a resounding, "Yes!" I don't have a bladder control problem; I was just having a lot of fun. It was code.

When I was little, I used to wet my pants often. My parents tell me I wasn't actually all that little. I was older than I should have been for such a thing. I don't know exactly how old I was, nor do I remember peeing my pants... with the exception of one particular incident.

I was playing with my friends at school - I think preschool - and I was having FUN! I was having so much fun, I chose to ignore the call of nature. Well, that call got louder and louder, and I kept ignoring and having my fun and ignoring.

The next thing I knew, I was squatting and pleading with my playmates to get the teacher. "Why? What's wrong?" they wanted to know. Crouching me, still dry at the time, replied in a wail, "Just get the teacher!"

And you know what happened next. Apparently, this used to happen all the time. I'm proud to say that I've learned now. I am a completely potty trained thirty-year old.

So the next time you hear someone ask if I've gotta pee, you know that I'm probably having a really good time.

(BTW, is it "pee my pants" or "pee in my pants"??? The English major in me wants to add the "in," which I think is grammatically correct, but I think it sounds better without. Why can't the nerd in me let go of such things?)

3 comments:

Gabe said...

So that wasn't the most exciting hockey game in the history of the world, despite the 13-1 score on the largest ice surface you'll ever see.

I think we should go to a Sharks game though perhaps it lacks the authenticity of college hockey in a figure skating rink with a disco ball.

chenjasdaddy said...

no hooking up with chenja!

btw all the cool kids pee their pants...

jennipah said...

i'd love to go to a pro hockey game to see the fighting! i'm normally not into violence at all, but there's something about men on skates flying into each other.

i didn't hook up with chenja yesterday because she wasn't able to make it to the game, but the weekend is near... i can't resist her real thick and juicy you know what! ha!