I took my parents to Santa Ramen for linner, and when we were all done, my mom decided she wanted to take her leftover broth home.
me: Umma, I don't think you can do that.
mom: Why not? The soup is the best part. I can just make some noodles at home, and if I put that in, it'll be so good!
(I never thought that my mom was ghetto; but at that moment, I was trying to picture whether or not she'd look good with gold-capped teeth. Or teef.)
me: The noodles here are good too! Anyway, this is a small place which takes pride in serving good bowls of ramen. The orders take so long already, I'm pretty sure they don't have to-go containers.
She was not to be deterred.
mom: [to waitress] Do you have one of those soup boxes, so I can take this with me?
waitress: No, we only have Ziplock bags.
me: [in my head] Please don't take it. Please don't take it!
To be relief, my mom decided that the plastic baggie might not be ideal. Until my brother called. He wanted to see if we were still out to dinner, but I told him we were finishing up. He said it was cool, no biggie, and we hung up. But my mom heard. And a mother will do anything to feed her hungry young - even when that young takes form in a 27-year old son who can easily feed himself.
mom: Jimmy can eat this! [And then, to waitress] Can I have that Ziplock after all?
So we walked out of the restaurant with a broth-filled plastic bag in hand. But that's not the end of it. Oh yes, there's more.
Then my mom asked me to help her "spring forward" the clocks in her car. She ordered my dad to learn so that he could do it next time. I showed my dad which buttons to push, and just as he was ready to set the time to 7:10...
mom: Wait! Wait until I tell you to set it!
She then flipped open her cell phone and looked at her watch so that we could set the time not only to the right minute, but to the correct second. My gold-toofed mama is not only ghetto, she's also super anal.
me: Don't you want to maybe put it ahead a minute or two?
mom: No. [a few seconds later] Almost... NOW!
And THEN we had to go through the same thing again with the clock on the installed radio in the car too. My dad decided to tease her a bit.
dad: I'm going to push it now!
dad: OK, then... NOW?
mom: NO, wait until I tell you! HOney!
She mentioned that it used to drive her crazy that one clock was two minutes slow before, and the other one was four minutes behind. She couldn't have been happier when everything was set just as she wanted. My mom's clocks were in sync, and the entire family would be happily fed. All was right with the world.
And my dad and I just laughed.