Laguna Beach: confession and confusion

If you haven't been watching Laugna Beach, then like oh my gawd, you like don't even know like what's totally missing from your life. So my deep, dark confession is that I am hooked on Laguna Beach: the Real Orange County. I'm talking Tivo season pass hooked. I realize that I've probably eliminated any inkling of credibility I had before, but what can I do? Admitting I have a problem is the first step to recovery. However, the thing is, I don't think I want to recover. (Thanks be to G for showing me the light last season.)

Now here comes the confusion. The beautiful teenagers on this show live such over-the-top, Beverly Hills 90210 lives that common folk find the reality part hard to believe. It is dubbed as a "reality drama," whatever that means. Personally, I choose to believe it's real, with occasional drama-invoking situations assisted along by the coaching, helping hands of MTV.

For anyone who wants to join me in my excursions into the O.C., here's a recap of the first few episodes. KRISTIN is the hot blonde all the way on the right. She's the main "character" this season; she narrates. She's got some kind of flirtation going right now with TALAN, the dude all the way on the left. The drama is that he's pretty much dating/chasing TAYLOR, the blonde next to him. She doesn't fully trust him, and rightfully so. He conveniently seems to forget all about Taylor and even denies he's dating her whenever he's out with Kristin. LOVE TRIANGLE! How exciting! Ready for another love triangle?

This involves Kristin yet again - does that make it a love BOW TIE? Anyway, the blonde next to Taylor is LAUREN/"L.C." I really don't know how much bleach my system can handle, but it's doing alright so far. L.C. was the main person last season, and she is pretty much in love with STEPHEN, the guy next to her. (Side note, doesn't she remind you of Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller's wife?) L.C. even went to San Francisco - yay! - with him, where they both started college. Stephen, however, is still not over Kristin. He even took her out for Valentine's dinner... but then showed up at L.C.'s door the next day with flowers and candy! Guys can be such dogs.

Speaking of the woof woof, that brings us to JASON, the guy in front, with facial hair. Ready for another triangle? This one finally does not involve Kristin, but maybe it will someday. Anway, Jason was supposed to be dating JESSICA, the tilty-headed girl in the black dress. She's really annoying when it comes to him, and I think she has issues because she's Kristin's good friend. Jessica even told Kristin something like, "I'm not you; you can get any guy you want." On the last episode, they pretty much broke up, which now leaves Jason free to hook up with ALEX M., the tilty-headed girl on his lap. She's been eyeing him since day one. Alex even took Jason to a dance even though he was Jessica's boyfriend at the time! Gasp!

OK, my brain can't handle any more shrinkage right now. Maybe I'll see if I can find Stephen somewhere in the city. I bet he hangs out in the Marina.