First of all, there are two sets of opposing personality traits. Open or self contained; direct or indirect.
- Are easy to get to know personally
- Have a greater tendency toward animated facial expressions or observable body responses while speaking and listening
- Tend to be more willing to show or share personal feelings more freely
- Show more enthusiasm than the average person
- Go with the flow, being flexible about how their own time is used by others
- Make most decisions based on goals, facts, or evidence (as opposed to feelings or experiences)
- Tend to keep important personal feelings private, sharing only when necessary
- Limit facial expressions or observable body responses while speaking and listening
- Show less enthusiasm than the average person
- Go with their own agenda, being disciplined about how their own time is used by others.
- Are more naturally assertive and express their own views more readily
- Are more likely to introduce themselves to others at social gatherings
- Naturally approach risk or change more quickly or spontaneously, and naturally decide more quickly or spontaneously
- Frequently use gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
- More likely to make emphatic statements like "This is so!" "I feel..."
- Are more naturally reserved and reserve the expression of their own opinions
- Are more likely to wait for others to introduce themselves at social gatherings
- Naturally approach risk or change more slowly or cautiously, and naturally decide more slowly or deliberately
- Infrequently use gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
- More likely to make qualified statements like, "According to my sources..."
- Tend to adhere to the Letter of the Law, rather than interpreting the Spirit of the Law
We drew horizontal and vertical axes to see the four quadrants more easily, but there are four basic personality types based on these traits:
- Open and Direct
- Open and Indirect
- Self-Contained and Direct
- Self-Contained and Indirect
OPEN and DIRECT people are called "Socializers." They value uniqueness.
- They tend to use a lot of "-est" words and will use multiple "!!!" and "..." when they write.
- They want things to be interesting.
- You can be interesting to them by being interested in them.
OPEN and INDIRECT people are called "Relaters." They value relationships. They are face-to-face relationship builders who give a little bit of everybody. They do not want to take risks and hurt someone's feelings.
- Because this is the "nice guy," you should be nice to them.
- When communicating with relaters, give them recommendations, not directives.
- Reassure them; they like guarantees.
- Give them safe options.
- Listen so you can hear what they really mean because they won't tell you directly. If you say to a relater, "Do you want Indian or Thai for dinner tonight?" they might answer, "Both sound good... but did you hear about the new Italian place down the street?"
DIRECT and SELF-CONTAINED people are called "Directors." They value results; and they want you to be direct, fast, and to the point. They take more risks than anyone else; and they can be tough.
- Use bullet points.
- Don't waste time.
- They want recommendations.
INDIRECT and SELF-CONTAINED people are called "Logicals." They value accuracy, and they like having all the information.
- They are careful and want to take time in making decisions.
- Proofread any communication with them because they are likely to think that if you make one mistake, then others may follow.
- Give them time to process information you give them, but also provide realistic deadlines.
Can anyone guess what I am?