I'll take earthquakes over THIS

Non-Californians often ask me, "What does an earthquake feel like?"

I tell them that if I'm walking or driving when a smaller tremor hits, I don't feel it. If I'm sitting still, it's similar to having a large train pass by and shake the building. I was at school during the biggie of '89, and even that one wasn't terribly scary for me.

When the crazy thunder and lightning started a few nights ago, followed by news of a flood watch and our flickering lights threatening their failure, THAT was scary.

What does this storm feel like? If all of my worst enemies were hanging out in the clouds and aiming at me with firefighter hoses on full blast... that would leave me feeling relatively safe and dry.

Why I shouldn't hold it in

I've been feeling kinda eh for a little while now. I couldn't decide exactly why, but I was getting frustrated with unpromising house hunting, I was really missing my family and friends, work was taking a lot of getting used to, blah, blah, blah... As I thought about those things, I felt like an undeserved complainer. Overall, I was still happy. Things with ever-sweet Taer were wonderful, the friends I had made here were all really nice, my job was still better than a lot of others I'd had in the past, and I did like it. I just had to get used to things being different.

Nothing was wrong exactly... but it wasn't completely right either. I guess I'll always miss home, at least a little.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that, for the first time, I had to wish my family a Happy Mother's Day and Happy Father's Day all the way from the other side of the country. Maybe it's because I missed getting together for dinner with the girls; and I have oddly only been able to talk to some of my closest friends once or twice in all these months (and most of them, sadly, not even once). These are people I used to talk to almost every day, and often multiple times a day - damn the time difference! Maybe it's because I thought we'd be going back for a visit next week, but we had to postpone the trip I was anticipating with so much excitement. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to hold in the fact that I was feeling a little down.

All I know is, I found myself with tears welling up in my eyes up a few nights ago. The more I tried to hold it in, the worse it got, so I finally decided to just let myself burst. All of a sudden, I wasn't just crying, I was BAWLING. My eyes got so puffy I could barely see. I was hyperventilating, which strangely made my lose feeling in my earlobes. Taer asked if I could breathe, and I nodded yes. It felt good to let it out. It hurt, but it felt good.

Whatever the situation is, I normally try to stay positive and optimistic. There was actually one day in college when I was particularly tired - I think I had pulled an all-nighter to finish a paper - so I wasn't my usual peppy self. All day, people kept asking me what was wrong. One of my friends even asked if I was mad at him. I guess no one was used to seeing me without a big smile on my face.

Another good friend, who was a psychology major, pulled me aside earlier in the year to say, "You know, there are some people who show a happy face to the world all the time... and then they go home and cry by themselves. You know you can always talk to me, right?"

I just laughed. With me, what you see is what you get; I'm quite transparent. I can't hide it when I'm upset; I'm usually as happy as I seem. But right now, I miss things about my old life terribly. I miss my people. And a good cry every once in a while is needed.

WTF?

Taer took me on a "date" Friday night. (He opened my doors and everything!) We had dinner at Addie's, which is a cute, neighborhood-y restaurant in a little, yellow house down the street. It's not mindblowingly innovative cuisine, but it's definitely yummy; and you can't go wrong with the outdoor seating on a nice night. Or so I thought.

I smiled across the table as I savored my ribeye and Rosenblum zinfandel. I noticed Taer was ready for a little more wine, so I re-filled his glass; and when I was done, he took the bottle from me to fill my glass.

This is when the man to my right, white as Wonder bread, leaned over his table and "knowingly" informed his date that Taer and I were obviously following, "... an Asian tradition."

HUH? What the heck did this ethnically challenged man know about our traditions, Asian or not? When we're eating family style, Taer also puts food on my plate before serving himself. Is that considered Asian tradition too? I call it being courteous and thoughtful. Silly me. Every time we're nice to each other, will people around us think it's simply because we're Asian?

I had gotten used to living in my San Francisco bubble, where it didn't really matter if you were white, black, yellow, or purple. People were themselves. Everyone was different, so no one was different. I'm not saying that I've never experienced racism, nor am I calling this man's comment blatantly racist. But it's ignorant. And it's stupid. I hate ignorant stupidity.

I considered saying something to him. Maybe I could've played the role and announced, "Confucius say, You are an idiot!" But I decided to enjoy our dinner and speak loudly in my American born, law school trained, perfect English. There I go again, being all submissive and Asian.

Being fair, I should note that D.C. is pretty diverse. However, it is very conservative, and people are very set in their narrow ways. This is the first time I've met so many people who don't eat sushi. And this is also the first time I've met so many Republicans. I have a feeling I'll be going through a lot of firsts here. I just hope I'll know how to best deal with them in the future.

My Ping golf commercials

Hey, so remember when I filmed those commercials for Ping golf a few months ago? Well, they're available online now.

Go to http://www.pinggolf.com/drive_across_america.html and click on both "Bay Area" and "San Francisco." I'm just an extra; so don't blink, or you might miss me. But that is really me swinging in the San Francisco one!

Eye contact and a smile

When I read this article, it reminded me of the one and only time that I gave out my number at a bar.

I was at the Up and Down club, the now-closed, two-level SOMA bar with some ownership involvement by gorgeous model Christie Turlington. Luckily, Christie wasn't around that night to threaten my A-game with her beauty, because let me tell you - I was single, and I was ready to mingle! In fact, I may even be bold enough to say that Christie was the lucky one to not be threatened by me that night!

I kid.. a little. OK, so I wasn't exactly one of those boy-crazy girls who was constantly on the prowl, but I'll admit that I couldn't help but notice a tall cutie hanging around near the corner of my eye all night. I decided that I wanted to meet him. I believed in a bit of old-fashioned chivalry however, so I didn't want to fly across the room to hunt him down and aggressively attack with my man-eating claws bared. So, rather than making the first move, I decided that I would try to get him to approach me instead.

I told Tina about my plan: "What I'm going to do is make eye contact and then smile. If he thinks I'm cute, he'll come talk to me." Tina simply laughed at me - something she's enjoyed doing as my best friend all these years - but she agreed to be my wingwoman.

We "went to the bathroom" together, but I wasn't able to catch his attention on the way there or when we returned. On our third or fourth ladies' room visit, the target finally looked at me. For all I knew, he might have just been wondering why we seemed to have the smallest bladders on the planet. Whatever the case was, our eyes were locked. Phase one of my master plan was complete.

There wasn't a lot of time for phase two. I mustered up my best twinkly-eyed, nose-crinkled smile, and I flashed it his way. Quick. Not too intense or crazy or stalker-like. As I was getting ready to look away (also part of the plan), I found him making his way though the crowd toward me. He introduced himself and offered to buy me a drink.

Mission accomplished!

We chatted, and I learned that he was going to Harvard Business School. Ah, so I snagged an HBS boy. My dating radar must have been as selective as Harvard's admissions office. They should hire me.

Anyway, HBS boy got my number, and we went on a date that week. Out talk over dinner was... like a business interview of sorts. It was fine, and conversation flowed, but that was about it. No sparks, no second date, no nuthin. I don't know if "Earning That Harvard M.B.A." was "Worth It" or not for this HBS guy, but I didn't stick around long enough to find out.

Going to town

I'm lucky because my job allows me to work from home when I'm not meeting with clients. Now instead of asking if I'm on tour, Taer asks if I'm "going into town?" (Doesn't that sound like we're country bumpkins?) I've gotta say, there's nothing like rolling out of bed and then sending emails and making phone calls in my pajamas.

Taer just called and asked, "You're not going into town today? Well, you can eat those noodles in the 'fridge for lunch. Go ahead and go to town on the noodles. Oh, and there's some chicken left from last night too."

Whether or not I go into town and/or go to town on those noodles, I just think it's cute that my man worries about me and tries to take care of me. Is it just me, or does that seem like a bit of a role reversal?

A Picture Share!

We went to watch the lpga event north of baltimore this weekend. The dot on the right is michelle wie. I now have a crush on her, and i want to be her.

Personality test - QUESTIONS

After talking to a couple of friends, I've decided to post the complete questions to this test. You can find results and instructions on how to communicate with each type in the prior post today. Note that most of us will bounce around to different personality types depending on the situation at hand, and there are also varying extremes.

Compare each set of statements. Then circle the letter S, O, I, or D to the left of the statement that best describes you most of the time in most situations, and with most people.

1. O - Easy to get to know personally in business or unfamiliar social environments.
S - More difficult to get to know personally in business or unfamiliar social environments.

2. S - Focus conversation on issues and tasks at hand; stay on subject.
O - Conversation reflects personal life experiences; may stray from business at hand.

3. I - Infrequent contributor to group conversations.
D - Frequent contributor to group conversations.

4. I - Tend to adhere to the Letter of the Law.
D - Tend to interpret the Spirit of the Law.

5. S - Make most decisions based on goals, facts, or evidence.
O - Make most decisions based on feelings, experiences, or relationships.

6. I - Infrequent use of gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points.
D - Frequently use gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points.

7. D - More likely to make emphatic statements like, "This is so!" "I feel..."
I - More likely to make qualified statements like, "According to my sources..."

8. O - Greater natural tendency toward animated facial expressions or observable body responses while speaking and listening.
S - More limited facial expressions or observable body responses while speaking and listening.

9. S - Tend to keep important personal feelings private; tend to share only when necessary.
O - Tend to be more willing to show or share personal feelings more freely.

10. S - Show less enthusiasm than the average person.
O - Show more enthusiasm than the average person.

11. D - More likely to introduce self to others at social gatherings.
I - More likely to wait for others to introduce themselves at social gatherings.

12. O - Flexible about how own time is used by others.
S - Disciplined about how own time is used by others.

13. S - Go with own agenda.
O - Go with the flow.

14. D - More naturally assertive.
I - More naturally reserved.

15. D - Express own views more readily
I - Reserve the expression of own opinions.

16. D - Naturally decide more quickly or spontaneously.
I - Naturally decide more slowly or deliberately.

17. S - Prefer to work independently or dictate the relationship conditions.
O - Prefer to work with others or be included in relationships.

18. I - Naturally approach risk or change more slowly or cautiously.
D - Naturally approach risk or change more quickly or spontaneously.

Take all of your O's and subtract the number of S's. (This is the vertical axis.)
Take all of your D's and subtract the number of I's. (This is the horizontal axis.)

Open +9
+8
+7
+6
RELATER +5 SOCIALIZER
+4
+3
+2
+1 Direct
-9 -8 -7 -6 -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 +1 +2 +3 +4 +5 +6 +7 +8 +9
Indirect -1
-2
-3
-4
LOGICAL -5 DIRECTOR
-6
-7
-8
-9
Self-Contained

Connect your dots to see what you are, then read the prior post for the rest of the explanation.

Personality test

I took one of these personality test things for work. I always find them to be kinda fun, and this one was particularly interesting because it focused on how to communicate with each of the four broad personality types. I thought I'd share what I learned. Rather than laying out all of the specific assessment questions, I'm just going to get right to the results. If anyone really wants the questions, I can share those later too.

First of all, there are two sets of opposing personality traits. Open or self contained; direct or indirect.

-----------------------------------

Open people:

• Are easy to get to know personally
• Have a greater tendency toward animated facial expressions or observable body responses while speaking and listening
• Tend to be more willing to show or share personal feelings more freely
• Show more enthusiasm than the average person
• Go with the flow, being flexible about how their own time is used by others

Self-contained people:

• Make most decisions based on goals, facts, or evidence (as opposed to feelings or experiences)
• Tend to keep important personal feelings private, sharing only when necessary
• Limit facial expressions or observable body responses while speaking and listening
• Show less enthusiasm than the average person
• Go with their own agenda, being disciplined about how their own time is used by others.

-----------------------------------

Direct people:

• Are more naturally assertive and express their own views more readily
• Are more likely to introduce themselves to others at social gatherings
• Naturally approach risk or change more quickly or spontaneously, and naturally decide more quickly or spontaneously
• Frequently use gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
• More likely to make emphatic statements like "This is so!" "I feel..."

Indirect people:

• Are more naturally reserved and reserve the expression of their own opinions
• Are more likely to wait for others to introduce themselves at social gatherings
• Naturally approach risk or change more slowly or cautiously, and naturally decide more slowly or deliberately
• Infrequently use gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
• More likely to make qualified statements like, "According to my sources..."
• Tend to adhere to the Letter of the Law, rather than interpreting the Spirit of the Law

-----------------------------------

We drew horizontal and vertical axes to see the four quadrants more easily, but there are four basic personality types based on these traits:

1. Open and Direct
2. Open and Indirect
3. Self-Contained and Direct
4. Self-Contained and Indirect

OPEN and DIRECT people are called "Socializers." They value uniqueness.

• They tend to use a lot of "-est" words and will use multiple "!!!" and "..." when they write.
• They want things to be interesting.
• You can be interesting to them by being interested in them.

OPEN and INDIRECT people are called "Relaters." They value relationships. They are face-to-face relationship builders who give a little bit of everybody. They do not want to take risks and hurt someone's feelings.

• Because this is the "nice guy," you should be nice to them.
• When communicating with relaters, give them recommendations, not directives.
• Reassure them; they like guarantees.
• Give them safe options.
• Listen so you can hear what they really mean because they won't tell you directly. If you say to a relater, "Do you want Indian or Thai for dinner tonight?" they might answer, "Both sound good... but did you hear about the new Italian place down the street?"

DIRECT and SELF-CONTAINED people are called "Directors." They value results; and they want you to be direct, fast, and to the point. They take more risks than anyone else; and they can be tough.

• Use bullet points.
• Don't waste time.
• They want recommendations.

INDIRECT and SELF-CONTAINED people are called "Logicals." They value accuracy, and they like having all the information.

• They are careful and want to take time in making decisions.
• Proofread any communication with them because they are likely to think that if you make one mistake, then others may follow.
• Give them time to process information you give them, but also provide realistic deadlines.

Can anyone guess what I am?

House hunting is like shoe shopping

It looks cute, and I feel comfortable in it. It's the right size and price. I love it - let's get it!

Taer, apparently, does NOT seem to think that buying a house is like buying shoes. Or maybe he does, but he's just a whole lot pickier about his shoes than I am about mine. Or maybe I'm figuring out why I own so many pairs that I can't keep track of them all.

I've fallen in love with three houses. Taer doesn't think any of them are quite right. Am I just a house slut? Will we ever find our perfect home?

A Picture Share!

Eating chocolate and golfing w my babe. Life is good.

This rat packs

I finally uploaded a bunch of old pictures that have been in hiding out on my camera for months. As I was cleaning out/packing up my room, Jen E. started pulling out random items I (allegedly) owned, and she asked things like, "Why do you have a random hammer in your room? What are these ridiculous glasses for? What is this huge blue thing???"

I'm convinced that the packrat fairy made frequent visits to my abode and secretly slipped extra special presents for me in random areas. The tooth fairy may leave money under pillows, but the packrat fairy leaves "treasures" absolutely everywhere, only to be found when you're packing up to move and constantly cursing yourself for never throwing away anything.

I'm posting these pics because they make me laugh and cringe at the same time. May I learn and remember to live a more minimalist lifestyle so that I will no longer be able to pull things out of my closet and ask myself, "How did THIS end up in HERE?!?"