For some reason, I had the notion in this noggin o mine that my little Korean mama, though cray-jee in other aspects of her life (and mine), would somehow be laid-back and unopinionated in the planning of our wedding. Silly me.
"Umma, I have exciting news! I went to this wedding event thing, and I found my dress!"
"Oh, you bought it already?" Uh, oh. She didn't sound happy. Maybe she's upset that she didn't get to go shopping with her only daughter to buy THE dress. I should probably offer to go shopping again with her back home. "... Because I was thinking about it, and I meant to tell you that I don't think you should get a strapless dress. You have wide shoulders, so something with a little bit of a sleeve or something on the shoulders would look better."
Ohhh-kay. "Well, it is strapless, so that's that. Hey, let's talk about the venue instead. What do you think of Napa? I always liked the idea of getting married at a winery."
"No. Too far."
"Uh..... Well, what about the Legion of Honor? That's very San Francisco, and our ceremony would overlook the Golden Gate Bridge. You took your wedding pictures at the Palace of Fine Arts. Wouldn't that be pretty?"
"I don't like outdoor weddings. The weather is unpredictable."
"But I think the pictures turn out nice with outdoor ceremonies. We can keep it quick and go inside for the reception."
"If all you think about is the pictures, then you're not being very thoughtful to your guests. A wedding should have deep feelings and be sincere. You can take pictures one week before, like we did. There are some very good Korean photographers who take beautiful shots, both outside and in a studio."
In a studio? Cheesy images popped into my mind of Taer popping out from behind a fake tree as I giddily laughed with my hand 'glamorously' perched under my chin. I shuddered at the thought. "Umma, we can have a meaningful wedding even if it's outside. And we'll take pictures the day of the wedding, before the ceremony. I don't want to have the wedding party get dressed twice, and that's how all my friends did it."
"If you are asking my opinion, then I'm going to tell you. If you want to just plan everything by yourself and just invite me to attend as a guest, then that's fine too. Ma-um de-ro heh. Do what you want."
My mom ended up calling 10 minutes later to tell me that my dad thought the Legion of Honor was a good venue, which made her begin to see the merits of the choice.
My dad got on the phone, "Hi, honey. It's near Lincoln Park, right? With The Thinker? Yeah, it's very nice there. Your Mommy and I will go check it out together."
I love my mom tons, but sometimes I'm really thankful for my Daddy.